Buying a Home at 65: A Story of Faith, Debt, and Discernment

My name is Magda, and today I want to share a little of what I'm living through right now. I'm 65 years old. Over the past several years, my husband and I have run our own small business together. We never owned our home — but after both of my parents passed away, the possibility of buying the house where I grew up suddenly became real.

This is not a decision to take lightly. Especially not at this stage of life. And I say that with complete honesty, from the heart of what I'm actually experiencing.

A decision that calls for a clear head and an open heart

In our particular situation, age was a factor we had to take seriously. Just because you run your own business doesn't mean your income is steady. There are good months, hard months, unexpected situations, and expenses you simply can't plan for.

I also had to ask myself: What do I truly want? At what cost? What am I genuinely prepared to take on?

Some things are perhaps better done when you're younger. I say that from personal experience — not as a rule for everyone, but as something I understand much more clearly now. Taking on a large debt at our age is not something you can approach with emotion alone.

Because sometimes the dream of owning something can cloud your judgment, your common sense, and your honest perception of reality. When people make a big decision like this, the first thought is often: "I want to leave something for my children." And while that desire comes from love, it still needs to be weighed carefully and honestly.

What I've learned along the way

I want to share a few simple thoughts — not to tell anyone what to do, but so you might avoid some of my mistakes, or at least think more carefully before making an important decision. Some decisions in life need to be made with a clear head, free from sentiment. That doesn't mean you stop feeling — it means you learn to put your feelings in order.

Pray. Pray often. Pray until you feel at peace. Ask God for discernment. Talk to people outside your family — people of genuine faith and moral integrity whom you respect. If you don't want to share all the details of your situation, you don't have to. Ask as though it were a general scenario, and truly listen to the responses with an open mind — without judgment and without defensiveness. Someone may point out something you hadn't considered.

Don't rely solely on your current income. Try, as much as possible, to develop another source of income. As the saying goes — reinvent yourself. When you have something more solid and more tangible, then take the step. If you can make a larger down payment to reduce your monthly payments, consider that seriously.

Don't make decisions thinking only of your children and what you want to leave them. Not because they don't deserve it — but because if it wasn't possible to do at a younger age, there's no reason to torment yourself trying to do it now at the cost of your own peace of mind. Believe me: health issues come with age, unexpected expenses arise, and your income may no longer be what it once was.

In my case, I realized I wanted that house because it was the place where I had lived my whole life. It was the home my parents built with their own hands. My father laid the foundation himself — he knew how. I had so many memories woven into those walls, so many stories — good and hard — that I wasn't ready to let go.

And there was something else: where I live, I'm just a few minutes from more than six churches. I couldn't imagine being far from Mass, far from the life of faith that sustains me so deeply.

Before taking on a large debt, do the math

Another important thing is to prepare well before making a decision that will affect you for many years. Research. Ask questions. Review every cost: legal fees, title transfers, additional charges, administrative fees, insurance, interest rates, mortgage requirements, and anything else that might come up along the way.

Do your figures beforehand.

And here's something practical — very simple. Before making a major financial decision, write down these questions on a piece of paper:

How much can I genuinely afford each month without losing my peace of mind? Don't think only about your best month. Think also about a difficult one.

What additional expenses might come up? Include health costs, maintenance, paperwork, transport, food, family support, and emergencies.

Am I making this decision from a place of peace, or from fear? Sometimes we want to buy, sign, or commit because we're afraid of losing something. But a major financial decision needs prayer, information, and a calm mind.

Never stop writing down your expenses. It will always give you a clear picture of where you actually stand. Be smart with money. Not stingy — but intentional about spending on what truly matters.

Help your children when they need it, but remember: you are not obligated to fix everything. They need to understand your reality too. There should be genuine, honest, open communication — even with documents on the table. That is also something they'll inherit: not just a property, but a responsible way of talking about life, money, and decisions.

Your children can be a tremendous support — but they shouldn't be your only safety net. Even so, God moves in the hearts of children. And believe me, you can witness real, tangible miracles through them. God also provides through family, through the work we do, and through people who simply show up and offer their help.

God provides — even when you can't see how

The decisions we make — whether thought through carefully or not, made with wisdom or made in haste — all become lessons. And so often, all we want is for others not to repeat our mistakes. To do better. To think longer. Not to be swept away by emotion alone.

I won't pretend otherwise: I love having my own space. I feel sheltered by God, loved and grateful for everything. Even for those sleepless nights when I lay there asking: "Will we be able to make this month's payment?"

And He always surprises me.

Believe me — God has a sense of humor. You cry and cry, you go to Mass, you pray, you feel like you simply cannot go on… and He is right there, moving everything, taking care of everything, softening the hearts of your children, opening doors at work, and placing people in your path who offer exactly the support you need.

That doesn't mean we stop doing the math. It doesn't mean we stop being prudent. But it does mean that when we do what is ours to do, and we seek God sincerely, He does not abandon us.

Tell your story — someone may need it

So when you have the chance to share what you've learned, tell your story. Not the way we often do — sharing only the highlights — but honestly, sharing how you truly lived it.

Life is about loving and sharing. You never know if your story might help someone draw closer to God, to pray, to find peace, to feel comforted — or simply to feel heard, without judgment and without shame.

That's why I'm telling you mine today. This is how I try to live: one day at a time, without rushing, without anxiety, without regrets. Simply enjoying what today holds — the highs and the lows alike.

Blessings,

Magda